folie
handcrafted madness
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pride & predjudice
| Posted at 04:38 AM on July 12, 2008 |
Today, the Universe stopped waiting on me to do what I've known I needed to do for months and went ahead and did it for me. It's a good thing. It's just hard to see that right now. My pride is hurt. I should have been the one to make that decision.
Why is it that, no matter how loudly that little voice in the back of my head screams at me that something isn't right, I give other people the benefit of the doubt at my expense? It's the spiritual equivalent of calling myself stupid for saying I'm going to get run over and then shoving myself into oncoming traffic. Time and time again. And every time, I look at myself -- broken and bloodied -- and promise I'll listen the next time.
So why don't I? And why don't I realise I'm breaking my own promise to myself until it's too late? I wouldn't let anyone else get away with doing that to me.
I'm not promising that next time I'll get it right because no longer trust myself to do as I say. But I am promising that I will do my damnedest to surrender to the reality that I -- the proud I, the controlling I, the reneging I -- am not always right.
Why is it that, no matter how loudly that little voice in the back of my head screams at me that something isn't right, I give other people the benefit of the doubt at my expense? It's the spiritual equivalent of calling myself stupid for saying I'm going to get run over and then shoving myself into oncoming traffic. Time and time again. And every time, I look at myself -- broken and bloodied -- and promise I'll listen the next time.
So why don't I? And why don't I realise I'm breaking my own promise to myself until it's too late? I wouldn't let anyone else get away with doing that to me.
I'm not promising that next time I'll get it right because no longer trust myself to do as I say. But I am promising that I will do my damnedest to surrender to the reality that I -- the proud I, the controlling I, the reneging I -- am not always right.
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78walk
10:01 PM on July 12, 2008
One of the major secrets to a happy life is learning when to pay close attention to that little voice. I don't believe that it comes easy to <i>anyone</i> - we all have to do a certain amount of learning the hard way. At least in my life, what often happens is I'll keep on making the same sort of mistake until one day something finally just clicks and I accept that I have to change my approach. <br> <br>Don't let yourself get too discouraged - that click day will come for you. In fact, given the self-awareness evident in this post, it might even already be here. <img alt="smile" src="http://images.freewebs.com/Images/Smilies/Round/smile.gif"&g
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